By Mary J. Miller
Sometimes, it can feel as if everyone around you has a happy marriage but you. Maybe your friends all make you sick because they are so good to each other and seem to truly enjoy each other's company, but all you and your husband can do is fight. Why should this be? Why do all your friends seem to have satisfied, happy relationships but you are left wanting more?
It sounds as if you need to refresh yourself a little about marriage in order to get the relationship you are truly longing for. For starters, how to get to that good loved and contented feeling in your relationship everyday.
You Are A Couple
When you are in a marriage, it can often seem as if the hopes and dreams of one half of the marriage are offset because of life's responsibilities, but the thing is that this doesn't have to always be the case. Sure you both have hopes and dreams and sometimes, they are the same, but other times, these hopes and dreams are completely different. As a couple, you should have joint goals and dreams, but still be allowed to pursue your personal goals as well.
Sometimes, this can be difficult, especially if it seems that your goals are pulling you away from your spouse. There will be times that you will have to decide what is more important to you as a couple and to you as an individual entity. Sometimes, these choices need to be made to have a happy relationship, or even in an effort to save your marriage, but many times, sacrifices can be well worth it in the end.
Don't Blame
Now this can be really hard to do, especially when it feels as if everything is going wrong. Occasionally there are problems, such as financial problems, that can be due to one partner's bad decision making. Instead of blaming your partner, try to incorporate ways that the problem will never happen again. For instance, if it's a financial problem you're facing, tell each other that you will never do anything "big" financially without first consulting with your partner and then stick to your plan. You have to communicate here to ever have a solid foundation to build your happy marriage on.
Stop playing the "blame game", though. The one who screwed up knows they did and they know that they have caused financial trouble within the relationship. For you to blame them only further causes feelings of guilt and inadequacy, so stop doing it.
A lasting relationship has a delicate balance between communication, connection and the ability to be an individual. If you want to know how to have a happy marriage, it's important to try to meet that balance in your own relationship. Don't worry, it can be done and it's not that hard, its actually a lot easier than you think to build an intimate happy relationship.
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